ARE REVENGE BLOG POSTS AS BAD AS REVENGE PORN?


I was scrolling through my twitter feed recently when I came across a retweeted blog post entitled “I’m single again, here’s why” and I clicked through to find a post that made me absolutely livid. It was a blog post ROASTING this blogger’s ex-boyfriend. And when I say ‘roasting’ I mean she went in HARD on this guy. She cusses down his personality calling him boring, she insults his commitment to her and she even slags off the size of his wang (totally uncalled for.) I won’t link the post, there’s no need to name and shame but I was not only appalled to read it but to read some of the comments people were leaving on the post.

Back in early August, I broke up with somebody following a 6-8 week shitty relationship which was born from our friendship of five years. It was bitter as fuck. He attacked me, damaged my property and lived in my house rent free, I was scared enough to call the police who immediately offered to remove him from my home. Safe to say it was one of the most difficult times of my life and it also led me on to pick much better men.  I talk about this now as if it never even happened but back then I was so so hurt and angry that I felt very tempted to tell the world what a total asshole he was.

I never did. I didn’t because I knew that writing a nasty and revengeful post on a public forum such as a blog would invite some more nasty behaviour from him. It would take me to his low, low level. I’m glad I never wrote that post because as much as it would have made me feel better, it would have been more trouble than it was worth. Even more so because since then I’ve received unprovoked death threats from him so imagine how bad it would be if I actually did something to even vaguely deserve it.

The blogger says things like “He might have been four years older than me, but his penis was unsatisfying and made me look forward to my period, just so I could avoid another not-so-seamy-sex-sesh on a Tuesday” Sadly, a lot of these things say more about the person writing it than the person it’s about. This woman or should I say girl should be embarrassed to admit that she dated somebody so wrong for her in the first place instead of bragging about how shit a person he is. Because at the end of it my horrible relationship I was embarrassed to admit that I’d dated such an obviously vile person and made such a horrendous life choice. I guess it takes a few weeks of dating to see somebody’s true colours but when you do, there’s no need to go shouting about them.

What the post got me wondering though was whether this girl was just as bad as someone who shares revenge porn. It’s obviously not the same thing but because of how society treats men and women’s bodies differently, it’s easily equal. It would be difficult to attack a man with revenge porn because the shame associated with male nudity is almost non-existent. But giving him a full on roasting where his friends/family/future partners will be able to see it would really dig at a guy in the same way that sharing someone’s private photos might. This leads on to my final point which is that it wouldn’t surprise me if this poor fella had gone ahead and shared her nudes with a bunch of peeps online just to get back at her for writing that post. And if he did, who would be worse?

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